Why Getting Married Isn't the Best Thing Ever
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Most women dream about their wedding day from the time they are very young. They romanticize the day; dreaming of the groom, the dress, the food, and whatever else goes in to a wedding. It’s a fantasy that we can’t wait to live out, and have been told that it will be the best day of our lives. But I don’t buy that.
Don’t get me wrong, getting married is great. Our destination wedding was fun, memorable, and perfectly us in every single way. And looking back there is nothing that I would change about any of it. But getting married is just one day of the life I’ve built with Chris, and I think what comes after the wedding day is the best part. Not the wedding itself.
You see, what I think is important is the life we’re building together now. We’re setting the foundation for the rest of our lives and I want that foundation to be strong and focused in faith, honesty, and love. Without the groundwork, marriage just can’t survive. It will be hard, sometimes exhausting and may seem impossible, but if the foundation is strong then we will be too.
So many people put too much thought and preparation into their wedding day and not enough into what comes after. All the careful wedding planning means nothing if you’re more committed to having the perfect day than the “perfect” marriage (not that there is such a thing). And guess what, all the work is not done after you say, “I do”. In fact, your work is just beginning.
Marriage is hard y’all. We hear it all the time but I don’t think it really clicks until we experience those hardships for ourselves. That “honeymoon” stage that you’re in once you do get married doesn’t last forever, and once that wears off where will you be? Have you built a solid foundation for your marriage? Are you working hard to support and love your spouse in the ways that they need it most? Focusing on one day in your marriage won’t help it grow. It won’t make it stronger and it definitely won’t strengthen the bond you should be building with your spouse. Instead it will keep you stuck, forever held back because you’re holding on to the people you used to be.
So no, I don’t believe getting married is the best thing ever. Your wedding day does not define your marriage. What you do after does. Put your focus into your husband and your life together. You’ll both be better for it.
I agree with you 100%! Although the wedding date should be celebrated, it is not the foundation of the marriage. The history married couples create all comes after the wedding. It’s filled with challenges, joys, ups, downs but it’s beautiful because each story is unique.
Thank you, Selene! I love what you said about each story being unique, and I definitely agree with that!
Marriage is hard! I think so many women put so much focus on the wedding that when it comes to the real ‘stuff’ they put it off and just hope it all works out. Marriage is hard work – but it’s very much worth it.
YES, girl. This is so spot on and I couldn’t agree more! One thing we really focused on in our premarital counseling was that we were planning for our MARRIAGE not just the wedding! Love this.
This is a wonderful post, and you are so right. While I am crazy excited about my wedding, I am much more excited about my marriage. I can’t wait to have each day with my best friend always by my side. I know there will be hardships, as life always has it, but we will fight through it all together.
Amen. If I had it to do all over again, I would not marry at all under any circumstance and I advise young men to do the same. The wedding was a great day and the honeymoon was one of the best vacations I’ve ever taken. However, since the day we got back home it’s only gotten more and more complicated. I don’t do complicated well nor do I do marriage well…..apparently she’s perfect at it just ask her. Sometimes I think spouse complicates things on purpose. It’s been 13 years of prison now. Hoping Jesus comes back soon to put a happy ending to it. Good luck.